 1. Cats were treated like gods in ancient Egypt but they’re not the type to keep bringing that up, unlike your cousin who just got a book deal. 2. It's great entertainment watching your cat scratch furiously at the mirror in perfect synchronicity with the cat on the other side while trying to gain access into the secret world in the a-ha video. 3. Cat’s never say, Let me know if I can do anything, and think they’ve done something. 4. Your cat will neither be impressed nor jealous that you can still fit into your jeans from high school. 5. A cat won't brag that her one-week-old kitten is a genius just because she’s able to go to the bathroom by herself. 6. Cats don't try to board in the zone they’re not suppose to. 7. No need to feel embarrassed if your in-laws walk in on you stroking your cat. 8. Your cat doesn’t care one iota what your current job is so long as there’s food in the bowl and the box is clean. 9. Cats never “pretend-like” your presents. If he doesn’t like the artisan feather-teaser with organic catnip made from recycled materials, you’ll know it. 10. In the history of the universe, no cat has ever said, You know what? I’ll just do it myself.
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